Last night was a rough night. When that happens the next morning usually follows suit. I’d like to click my “ruby red slippers” (favorite red hiking boots), state “there’s no place like home” and magically appear on a mountain trail where I’m alone with God and nature. That is where my heart is at home. However, responsibility calls, bills must be paid, staff must be supervised and the world keeps turning even though my depression/anxiety might try to convince me that it doesn’t.
I’m struggling with hearing lies. I can be an easy target because my weakness is no secret to he who shall remain nameless because he deserves no credit. When I hear them, they hit pretty hard. My very vivid imagination can spin them into fact and I go into a tailspin. Every time. When that happens, guilt creeps in. Isn’t that one of the biggest soul punches we can take? Guilt. Guilt brings about a domino effect. Shame, unforgiveness, self loathing, isolation, anxiety and then feeling of being utterly unworthy.
That being said, God is really great at sending me little messages that, again, remind me of my truths. Today, it was in a latte. Yes I know I am not special and that this is the chosen design of baristas to bring smiles to faces. However, I don’t get this everyday. And i needed it today. As I stood looking at the design atop my cup of temporary comfort, I stilled myself and became grateful. Grateful for the little message in a coffee cup that God still loves me, in fact He adores me. Enough to meet me where I am, even if it is in a latte. I did smile, I did need it and I am truly truly grateful.
Wishing you many messages from God, sent through baristas…Coffee on my friends.