One of the most powerful ways I fight my depression is to retreat to the mountains and walk with Jesus. The only problem with that is when I struggle to get out of bed, can’t get out of my pajamas or simply can’t bring myself to “people”.
I believe there is a sixth love language. It’s not human to human. It’s God to human. I love it. Something special between Him and I. He sends me animals..exactly when I need them. Usually when I’m struggling internally. There have been times I’ve been driving and see deer by the side of the road (I know, I know, who hasn’t in Colorado, but its not the normal “oh look at the deer) It’s a “slow down”, eye contact, just me and that animal. God saying “I see you and I love you.” He reminds me of his most beautiful, innocent creatures and how he takes care of them. He reminds me that the way I see them is how he sees me. Beautiful, whole and pure. Beloved, important and worthy.
I believe with all of my heart, that God knowing this about me and knowing that I can’t always convince myself to go outside or to the mountain, where I know I can reconnect with him, He sent me a permanent gift. A big floppy eared, goofy dog. Wookiee.
Be still my heart. He’s not just any dog. He has this personality that goes beyond anything I have ever known or seen in a dog. He knows when I’m hurting and he lays right up against me. He knows when I don’t feel good and he does silly things (i.e. the featured image of this blog). He sits there when I talk to him and he never judges. He has this incredible, unconditional love. Sometimes I think he’s not a dog at all. His facial expressions are extremely animated. When my alarm goes off in the morning he crawls into bed with me and helps to wake me up with an exuberance that says, “Get out of bed! let’s go!!!! ” If I fail to get up, he lays his head on the pillow and stares at me occasionally sneaking a nose lick in. And on the worst days, when I absolutely just want to lay there, he lays there with me and falls asleep. My furry, love filled alarm clock has become one of my favorite parts of the morning. It changes my mood and outlook as well as just knowing there is someone who can simply be still with me when I need that. This has been one of the most endearing gifts God has given me.
He has taught me so much:
- Forgiveness- When left alone for too long, he has indeed chewed up some treasured items, to include some of my writing, journals and two of my favorite bibles. Apparently he wanted to feed himself with the word of God as well.
- Unconditional love- No matter how bad my mood, or my scolding of said bibles, He always comes running, with tail wagging, ready to say “I love you no matter what”.
- Loyalty- As I sit here writing this, all I have to do is lower my hand and he stops what he’s doing and comes to my side.
- Laughter- Goofy facial expressions, floppy ears, even just the way he sits lopsided on one hip.
- Perseverance- Continuing to adore him through two kennel escapes (which left them destroyed) Yard escapes which made him great friends with the dog catcher.
- Patience- sitting on his brother patiently waiting for his turn with toy. (Yes, literally sitting on him.)
Thank you Jesus, for this amazing gift and constant reminder that you DO exist, you DO love me and that you most definitely meet me where i’m at.
Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am with you”