He leaves the 99

“I lift up my eyes to mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2

One little moment. One little moment in a 24 hour period. There is ALWAYS something to find joy in and to have gratitude for. One little moment, where He leaves the 99 to take your hand and say “I’m here….its just you and I…you’re ok, I see you and I’ve got you.”

Sometimes that’s what you get…one really great inhale/exhale exchange, then life just happens. There are bumps in the road. Things go wrong. There’s no particular reason as to why…. Well, minus what I believe to be a hint of spiritual warfare. A very loud hint….like a 2 by 4 across your forehead kind of hint. One you could choose to ignore, but the throbbing goose egg on your face won’t let you pretend that it didn’t happen or that it isn’t obvious that its still there causing considerable pain. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it or not, but does it seem like when God is about to bless you, something else tries to grab you by the heel and hold you back? It’s just enough that you don’t receive the blessing that God is about to freely give you, or maybe just enough to distract you and turn your eyes inward so that you are focused on yourself and cannot bless someone else. Or is that just me. Yeahhhhh, I know I’m not that special. However, I do know, with Jesus by my side, I am a powerful warrior and can accomplish great things for HIM when my focus is not inward. I also know that my weaknesses are no secret, I’m an easy target because of it and I have to learn to wear extra armor. Preventative maintenance fact. I just have not quite honed that skill yet.

That being said…It was a rough weekend where I retreated inward and felt extremely lost and alone. Bear with me a minute….this is where the greatness comes in. No matter what is going on, if you just stay connected to Jesus, He will bring you joy when you need it. Even if you are not looking for it. The best thing about understanding this is you can rest in the fact that joy is attainable…even in the worst of times. It gives you a momentary break from the chaos and possibly even a new focus so that you can begin to pull yourself back out of muck. Yes I can prove it.

The cover photo for this entry was a gift for me. Straight from Jesus when my heart was heavy and I was feeling very unloved/unlovable. My favorite flowers have always been daisies. They are simple, beautiful and have a sweet softness about them. And obviously, my favorite place on earth to be is in the Colorado mountains. It’s the only place where I can be 100 percent grounded and closest to God. It’s where I hear him, feel him and have had the most success of shutting off the noise of the world and of my own mind.

So this is how Jesus works. He knows me, He knows my heart and He responds in big ways. Kind of “Go big or Go home” He’s pretty cool like that. So he makes a grand gesture. Here is how it plays out in my head. “You look like you could use a reminder that you are loved and that your heart matters. Hmmmmm…..if you could hike I would just randomly drop a daisy in your path or let you have a moment of eye contact with one of the beautiful creatures I have placed in the forest…but alas, you aren’t able to do that right now…ANNNND i think you need to understand that I am crazy about you. I don’t just love you, I am head over heels crazy about you, one daisy just won’t work this time. Sooooooo BOOM…..look to your left. There it is, Millions of daisies just for you. A whole meadow full of them. That’s it, keep looking…..let your eyes wonder to the end of the meadow….BOOM there’s the mountain view you are missing right now. It’s your home, you can’t be immersed in it, But it’s still there waiting. I painted it just for you, so you could see that I don’t just love you a little bit, that I’m not too busy with the billions of other things I must tend to. I will leave the 99 (billion) to give you a field of daisies with the backdrop of a Colorado Mountain EXACTLY when you need it most. You are my child…and I am crazy about you. You are not alone, I am here and your heart matters.”

Jesus knows your love language and He is not shy about using it to woo you, to restore you, to give you hope and to simply love you. But you do have to let him. Connect with Him, look for Him, talk to Him. He’s right there, waiting to show you how much he adores you. (He’s probably already doing it hoping you will just look up and see his love note laying there) You matter. Enough that yes, he would leave the 99 for you as well.

Thank you Jesus for being the romancer of my heart, the calm to my chaos, the warrior in my spirit and the one true light on my path. Thank you for seeing me, knowing me and loving me no matter what. I love you beyond belief.

2 thoughts on “He leaves the 99

  1. You are beyond an inspiration to those who need it the most!

    I have never felt more connected to another human than I do to what you post here.

    It’s ok to be depressed as along as you get that you are not oppressed and that Jesus truly loves You!

    Thank you for being the light in a dark time and a guide back to what matters…. Gods external love!

    You “Just Jen” are more than just – you are a voice and a gift to the rest of us when we need it most!

    Like

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